Fixed

"She has an arrow in you yet, John Procter!"

That's exactly what I feel like...except, the genders are reversed and my name is Linda. hah. Why is this feeling for him not gone yet?! It's a hindrance in my life, pulling me backwards. I thought I had moved on. It was a silly infatuation...almost to the point of obsession! I want to be rid of it, it's an embarrassment and I feel ashamed for not being able to suppress it more. Obsession certainly did not make me feel good.

It was ridiculous. I was and am so stupid, so young...so idiotic. Yes, this was just a few months ago...it lasted a year. But I want off...it's not as if I hate him...I just want this to stop. I don't want to hate him, even if it's the only way to stop it.

That's the only way that I stopped it once before, and it came back at me later and made me feel so guilty and self-loathing for hating someone so kind and nice just for my own reasons while he had done absolutely nothing before.

Yes, I suppose hormones are getting after me. They're nothing but silly crushes. And I'm sounding very bitchy...but I'm not bitching. I'm just trying to let it all out. Trying to let some of this energy and emotion go somewhere.

Please let this stop soon...or at least let me find something/someone else to keep me away from this.